WHAT IF…

BREAKING NEWS

By Paul Heywood-Smith

Australia’s Prime Minister in Waiting, Tony Abbott, announced today that he will call Parliament to Canberra in the week following the election to authorize his determination to undertake a punitive strike against the United States of America.

Abbott said that the world could not allow the flagrantly immoral use of drones to kill innocent people in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen and the Cote d’Azur to go unpunished.  His action would be to ‘deter and degrade’ the Obama’s government’s ability to launch drones, but is said to be not aimed at ousting  Mr. Obama from power or forcing him to the negotiating table.

Abbott characterized the action under consideration as ‘limited’, perhaps lasting no more than one or two decades, and acknowledged that the Security Council would not endorse the punitive action.  “We are not silly.  We are realistic.  This is a very astute ‘government in waiting’”, he said.  “We are expecting a US veto in the Security Council.  However, what could you expect?” he mused.  Abbott said however that he was not concerned with international law given the flagrant breach of morality by the U.S.

Australia’s Prime Minister on the Way Out, Kevin  Rudd, said he would support the action and do it himself, only better, if elected.

In a reversal of form Abbott said that he would not ‘stop the boats’ but rather send them – a flotilla of Sydney Harbour ferries – to the West Coast of the U.S, to give California ‘a real pasting’.  Abbott said that the goal of the operation was ‘not about regime change’.  Seeking to reassure the public that Australia would not be drawn into a civil war in the Northern Hemisphere, and perhaps to lower expectations of what the attack might accomplish, Abbott administration officials acknowledged that their action would not accomplish Mr. Abbott’s repeated demand that Mr. Obama step down.

Weapons experts said that boomerang strikes, while politically and psychologically significant, could have a limited tactical effect.  The weapons carry relatively small warheads.

On Monday night, one prominent member of the Tea Party Front, a rebel group aligned with the Republican Party and designated a terrorist organization by the United Nations and Australia, used a Facebook posting to urge fellow members to move away from their bases or positions in California.

U.S. President Obama is said to be trembling in his size 12 sneakers and indicated he would afford tax exempt status to Paul Hogan (Hoges) if he could persuade his government to ‘stop the boats’!   

Reuters.